The Forest Through the Trees

You swallow hard and take a deep breath trying to quell the butterflies before you knock. You exchange awkward pleasantries imbued with the knowledge that things are about to change forever. Excitement wells up as you both head to your car and embark on the first date.

Ahh the first date. Nowadays it’s prefaced by texting and facebook creeping. Well no more tech veils. The facade is a snap shot in time and lol’s don’t work in the real world.

A lot has been said about the job interview nature of the first date and for good reason. Attraction is a strong adversary to truth and it can imperceptibly take over our objectivity.

On one first date I laughed so hard at the beautiful girl’s joke that it stunned me. So stunned that I immediately outed myself saying “Not sure if your joke was that funny or your beauty got in the way of my judgement. “ True story.

Attraction is so powerful that when coupled with our innate desire to believe what we want to believe we can convince ourselves of almost anything.

A simple quip or a witticism can be easily extrapolated into many wonderful things by a thirsty mind. The quiet and reserved can be assumed deep and thoughtful when really that wind noise is coming from their ears.

On the first date we are full of expectations so our propensity for this fallibility is at an all-time high and it’s better to get a grip before we lose our heads. Ever wondered how your friends could date so and so and not see what you and everyone else sees? They’ve been blinded.

We are surrounded by friends with relationships clearly doomed to our unbiased minds. If only they would’ve governed themselves and saw that person for what they truly are. Instead we are left feigning sympathetic ears to their constant tales of woe. Been both dance partners myself.

Common interests are the ubiquitous check lists to these occasions. Favourite songs, shows and movies are very good gateways into things that interest and touch them. You can glean a lot from such interpretations as long as you are aware of the inherent problem...you’re the interpreter. Mind you Zoolander in their top 3 is a dead giveaway. Run.

Ok so now we need more spelled out information that is unique to this stranger across the table. Time to get them talking while thinking, the “while” thinking being the key.

We don’t want them regurgitating familiar material they’ve trotted out many times. Impassioned diatribes are poor barometers and as engaging as pouring words over a chair. You love family. Check.

Getting them thinking on their feet is the ticket. Here’s an example to evoke the desired effect : If money was no object how would you plan the perfect day?

This would be a snippet of mine.

I’m gently stirred by the rumbling Ocean as the sun begins to cascade through the drapes. It is a crisp blue sky that beckons from the balcony overlooking the white sands and translucent ocean below. The weather is perfection.

After breakfast on the terrace we meet our guests poolside. A select gathering of friends are cabana surfing around a private pool at our own resort that would make a Sultan envious.

After squeezing in a wee hammock time we would gather for a meal to end all meals. Dressed in all white linen and our tanned faces danced with torch lights we engage in lively conversation.

In three short blurbs I have revealed some interesting things about priorities, aspirations, intelligence and even neuroses. Fate is a made up word and we should all do a better job as the interviewer in my humble opinion. Best thing about population explosions is all the fish in the sea.

See ya next week top of the food chain!

-Life is complicated and far from perfect, but it's still great.