A Christmas List

Buddhists tell us we must remove desire in order to achieve happiness. There is a certain logic and continuity in that line of thinking. You see, if we are too busy desiring more how can we be truly happy with what we’ve already got.

It reminds me of that song lyric “If you can’t be with the one you love baby, love the one your with”. It’s a particularly rousing burble, especially when Uncie Bear is wailing it. Perhaps Stills was a Buddhist.

In my youth when I would long for a young lady, I was quite sure she smelled like a summer’s meadow, could recite Shakespeare by heart and always told fascinating anecdotes. Of course none of that turned out to be necessarily true.

Of useful note, I was not such an exemplary specimen myself. I was usually picked by team captains in the latter rounds for most sporting activities. I managed to narrowly nudge out the chess club types and convinced myself some vague favoritism must be discounting my prowess.

This of course was also not true, but rather my desire to believe it.

You know my Father likes to tell me that you must have your dreams…something to constantly propel you forward, to strive for. You must aspire for something more, something better.

This is another of life’s conundrums. Strive or be content.

If we were all to be Buddhists would we have landed on the moon, created democracy, produced the automobile or built nuclear bombs that could blow up the entire world 10 times over?

How to temper striving to be Masters of the Universe with the fulfilling complacency of “This is as good as it gets”.

This brings me to Christmas.

My girlfriend has been asking me recently for my Christmas wish list. A seemingly harmless question is it not?

To answer her, I must now ask myself “what is it that I want”. Would I like a book I probably won’t read? A tie rack for the ties I never wear? Or perhaps an even smaller iPod? One so small I will need to also ask for a small pointy stick just to operate it.

Prior to the question being asked, I wasn't even aware I needed anything. I was blissfully ignorant to these newly created cravings.

Instead my head now fills with visions of any number of possible articles that could sooth and sate some of life’s struggles.

The problem of course is…I know they won’t. Not really. Life never really fully converges with our expectations does it? Given time things seem to always fall a little short.

Take the miracle of flight for example. Two hundred years ago people used to take months in horse drawn wagons to travel from coast to coast, and people died attempting such an arduous trek. Now it takes 5 hours by jet… and yet those damn seats are just so uncomfortable.

This brings me back to those young ladies who ultimately told fairly average anecdotes after I took off the rose tinted glasses of desire. I have learned not to let desire build such unrealistic expectations. Much like when I order Chinese Food.

Certainly we have all outgrown the ability to be as a child who, with unbridled joy Christmas morning, tears open the gift that is sure to make everything instantly wonderful. Therefore is a Christmas list even worth the effort for us now? Should Axl Rose still be attempting to making records? I’m not so sure.

So in this one small Buddhist-like way, rather than thinking about what I want this Christmas…I’ll be trying to be more appreciative of what I already have.

It is not an easy task, mind you.

Of course, if I were an actual Buddhist this might be easier.

Dammit. There I go again…desiring something else.