The Manhattan Experiment

I went to Manhattan to visit my little brother last weekend. It amazes me how many people have journeyed to The Big Apple. It’s as if it were a rite of passage. To go there is to add to the lapel of pins and badges we metaphorically show off to our friends and family. “Look where I’ve been”.

It’s not naked braying or something untoward. It is just a Bucket List item that we proudly check-off or sheepishly admit the omission.

Ok so I’ve joined the ranks of the checkers and I was not all that excited to do so. You see I’m not a big city kind of guy. I understand why on a sunny Friday afternoon the 400 Hwy is slammed with traffic like rats evacuating a sinking ship.

Manhattan is like Toronto but with more history, if you can call it history. We are talking about a Country who’s effectively 4 years old to the comparatively middle-aged Egypt. However it does feel substantial and purposely built by craftsmen. It feels like it wants to stay, wants to exist for a long long time. It’s this gravitas that makes it unique.

The Brooklyn Bridge for example was started in 1867. A rudimentary automobile was still 20 years from even being invented so it was the horse and buggy that moved the masses. Still they built this monumental edifice, the longest suspension bridge in the world at the time, rising 30 stories over the mostly frigid water and today it hosts 6 lanes of vehicles. It’s bloody awe inspiring to behold it.

It was the first city built for the modern age. The planners and builders of Manhattan boldly and audacious created an engineering marvel. A city that would become known as the center of the Universe to so many.

It accomplishes something else astonishing. It rivals Paris, Rome, Venice and London as an icon. Of course Hollywood being American helped. How many images have we been bombarded with in our lives? Central Park, Statue of Liberty, Twin Towers, Museum of Natural History, Empire State Building and the list goes on and on. Movies, songs and literature have seared this manifestation into our cultural psyche.

Personally I couldn’t get the Wayne Newton standard “Danke Schoen” out of my head. The one line played on a constant loop “...I recall, Central Park in fall”. Admittedly my exposure to that was from Ferris Bueller but if I’m being honest...I loved it. It felt right sashaying about with that soundtrack, like having your mother bring you some warm coco while swaddling you in a blanket in front of a crisp fire.

It wasn’t all great though. Seldom does the dream live up to the reality and Manhattan is no exception. It’s dreadfully full of people.

One gets the feeling that if the last ice age hadn’t deposited a large basin of too soft to build soil in the middle...there would be no park at all. It would be endless concrete canyons. That despite all its charms and accomplishments, it feels as though you are among a devastating number of stacked shoeboxes housing human specimens in an immense scientific tool chest.

Also everyone has their own little fashion uniforms it would seem. Wall Street tycoon? Slick suit, skinny tie and coifed hair it is then. You have inner pain? Boots, skinny jeans and hipster hat.

It is as if even the entire populous is on a cat walk. “Now here is Sarah at a sidewalk cafe sipping champagne and sporting a trendy handbag that says I’m available but don’t approach unless you can afford the lifestyle.”

Manhattan has been checked off however my pin doesn’t feel so shiny. I’ve left my little brother behind and I’d like him returned from the experiment unharmed please.

“Live in New York once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.”

-Baz Luhrmann

Life is complicated and far from perfect but it is still great

Truth Be Told

I was recently talking to someone about a mutual friend who had broken up with their significant other. The platitude exchanged was “at least there wasn’t someone else”. Of course what is meant by that is the person leaving was not doing so because of another romantic entanglement.

I guess that might be true...

This is something we all hear. It’s the “go to” in the relationship-ender scene. Invariably when two people break up they ask the other “is there someone else?”

The canned response is “Of course not. There is no one else”, which in turn is believed at about a 50/50 clip.

Ahh human nature to believe what you want to believe.

There is the rare occasion when the person actually wants out because it “wasn’t working”. Bravo in this case as the honesty has given them both the opportunity to glean from the experience and is the proud choice. But man is that rare. Like albino grasshopper-monkey rare.

Some of The flee-ers will fess up because they’ve pretty much already set up permanent shop with the third party and the realization is inevitable. That’s a toughie. Not only have they been dipping in a third party pool...they’ve been doing that shit for quite some time. Time heals all. Let’s move on shall we.

Unfortunately most of these people have in fact been free-lancing and simply decided against making a messy situation messier. Why bother when you are on your way out the door?

Now why do I believe there is usually “someone else”? Speaking generally...Relationships are Security.

It is hard to cast off a blanket of security for the fear of the unknown. Cue the Hamlet reference...”makes cowards of us all”.

Therefore people tend to have third party security (the best kind of security because it has that new car smell and...well...security) giving them the courage of their convictions to actually leave .

Personally I’d like to believe in the fairytale. That everyone polices their actions perfectly and that what people say is the absolute truth. The reality is something very different.

The bust rate on divorce is well known. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Marriages that usually involve children, mortgages, intertwined friendships and family, capped off with a vow of undying love...end in failure 50% of the time.

Heck the other 50% who stay married are no screaming hell either. Most seem like manageable hell to me. Therefore believing someone who is dumping you is statistically naive at best.

Perhaps with matters of the heart statistics are best left alone. The dream is good sustaining stuff.

If you try and fail in an attempt at relationship bliss, don’t beat yourself up over “someone else” or even lower yourself to ask. The response will most likely be bullshit. Just dust yourself off and focus on all the annoying goddamned traits that you don’t have to put up with anymore.

-Life is complicated and far from perfect but it is still great

Quacks Like a Duck

Has the power of positive thinking run amok? I had a sophisticated person the other day try to “enlighten” me about a book that talks about the power of positivity. We’ll leave the title a secret.

Evidently by sending out positive vibes into the universe, you can attract wealth now.

This is the newest incarnation of an old concept. People have been alledging that good vibes can heal what ails you for eons. There is no scientific facts to support such a theory but it seemed relatively harmless to “put on a happy face”.

But let’s take a bite of the reality sandwich and call this what it really is. Bullshit.

I think it’s gone too far and is no longer innocent smiley-faced delusion.

Hell I’ll even put aside the inference that the sick and the poor are filled with negative energy and thus causing their own dilemma. Remember, two-thirds of the earth’s population doesn’t have enough food to eat. So it would be preposterously pompous for the “manner born” to not only imply such a thing...but to believe it?! Yuck.

All this silliness has pervaded everything we do. We have real problems that require pro-active solutions by serious people. It seems a lot of people have gone from pretending things will turn out great...to actually relying on it.

The Economic crash was not a fluke. It was conceived from eternal optimism. Home values will go up, money will keep rolling in, living beyond our means isn’t a real concern, etc. And we aren't out of the woods by a long shot.

How about the environment? Everything is fine. Sure we have some people pointing out facts (scientists) but we have puppets (politicians) smacking their flippers together thinking this is the prelude to Annie singing “The Sun Will Come Out.....Tomorrow". Meanwhile what is really being done?

I think people need to get their heads out of the clouds. Positivity has gone from harmless to dangerous... and I wish more people would get back to the three R’s. Reason. Reality. Responsibility.

-Life is complicated and far from perfect but it is still great