Summertime Musings

Summer is half over…or we have half left depending on how you view the glass. Yep, June, July and August is all we get in The Northern Bear so let’s take a recap on what has happened thus far and what lies ahead.

Summer Blockbusters

This has been the worst summer for movies in recent memory; from the unwatchable (Sex in the City / Jonah Hex) to the underwhelming (Prince of Persia / Robin Hood / A-Team). The only two decent flics so far are Iron Man 2 and Get Him to the Greek. However, not a single movie has fully captured us yet so here’s hoping Leo’s Inception does the trick or else I’m stuck with my “The Hangover” DVD!

News

I’ve heard about some sort of an oil problem in the Gulf. Ok so it’s dominated the news…and it’s just depressing. Is it just me or does anyone else thinks Obama should have immediately set BP aside and told the Admirals and Generals of his multi-trillion dollar military “I don’t care what it takes. Procure any and all resources necessary. I want this geyser of oil stopped. Now!” Give BP the bill after it’s over. Instead were left to watch inept corporate bumbling.

One gets the feeling after Afghanistan, Iraq, New Orleans/Katrina, Wall Street, Bank Bailouts and Unemployment that the USA just doesn’t know what the fuck it is doing anymore.

G20

Twenty leaders pow-wowed in our back yard to continue to decide the fate of the world and came up with seven useless resolutions. How useless you ask? Here is one of those resolutions:

3. We agree: Members will at least halve their deficits by 2013 and stabilize government debt-to-GDP ratios, or put them on a downward path by 2016.

Now does everyone see the joke? They “agree” to drastically reduce debt in three years OR reduce it a smidgen in six years. Six years is of course past most of these leaders’ tenure AND leaves the high minded declaration for the three years totally negated. Nice work morons.

Kick Ball

Here is my opportunity to upset all you football/soccer fans. Spain won the World Cup and managed to “score” 8 goals in 7 games. That is 1.14 goals per game for the World Champions. In the last 4 games (and they won all 4) they scored 1.0 goal per game en route to their “victory”.

Spanish transplants globally showed nation pride for this auspicious achievement with little plastic car flags and horn blowing. Whatever.

Basketball

LeBron signed with Miami and the Cleveland Cavaliers owner publicly attacks King James’ character. Listen here turkey. LeBron fulfilled his contract. He even out-performed. If he wants to go somewhere else it is his prerogative. He’s not a slave asshole.

Political Correctiveness

Helen Thomas, a member of the White House press core for 5 decades and an honorary doctorate 30 times over was forced to resign after she said Israelis “should get the hell out of Palestine. Remember these people are occupied and it’s their land”.

I have no dog in the Israeli/Palestine fight nor do I necessarily agree with her. Having said that are you not allowed to voice an opinion now? Is this that much different then saying America needs to get out of the Middle East? And aren’t we a stronger society if we have open dialogue on contentious issues? Forget silly anti-Semitic or anti-Muslim name calling, isn’t there something of value to discuss there? After all people are dying as a consequence.

Weather

May was a peach but June was a deluge. Rain rain rain. So far July has been a sweltering mess. What happened to a regular ol’ 24 and sunny day? I have high hopes for the next month and a half and on that note: Get out there and enjoy the next few weeks!

Think of all the things you wanted to do in the winter when we had frozen-bound cabin fever…and get out there and make a memory! Last chance for the summer of 2010.

Root Canal Politics

The following piece is from the New York Times, written by Thomas Friedman. I actually met him in a line up at Pearson Airport last month and recognized him from his “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” appearances.

Perhaps our chance encounter led to him writing this article that is dead on accurate. Perhaps not…especially considering our meeting was brief and I was too busy complimenting him.

There are 2 beauty lines in this.

Enjoy!

DEATH NOTICE: The Tooth Fairy died last night of complications related to obesity. Born Jan. 1, 1946, the Tooth Fairy is survived by 400 million children living largely in North America and Western Europe, known collectively as “The Baby Boomers.” “We’ll certainly miss the Tooth Fairy,” one of them said following her death, which coincided with the 2010 British elections and rioting in Greece. The Tooth Fairy had only one surviving sibling who will now look after her offspring alone: Mr. Bond Market of Wall Street and the City of London.

Sitting in America, it’s hard to grasp the importance of the British elections and the Greek riots. Nothing to do with us, right? Well, I’d pay attention to the drama playing out here. It may be coming to a theater near you.

The meta-story behind the British election, the Greek meltdown and our own Tea Party is this: Our parents were “The Greatest Generation,” and they earned that title by making enormous sacrifices and investments to build us a world of abundance. My generation, “The Baby Boomers,” turned out to be what the writer Kurt Andersen called “The Grasshopper Generation.” We’ve eaten through all that abundance like hungry locusts.

Now we and our kids together need to become “The Regeneration” — one that raises incomes anew but in a way that is financially and ecologically sustainable. It will take a big adjustment.

We baby boomers in America and Western Europe were raised to believe there really was a Tooth Fairy, whose magic would allow conservatives to cut taxes without cutting services and liberals to expand services without raising taxes. The Tooth Fairy did it by printing money, by bogus accounting and by deluding us into thinking that by borrowing from China or Germany, or against our rising home values, or by creating exotic financial instruments to trade with each other, we were actually creating wealth.

Greece, for instance, became the General Motors of countries. Like G.M.’s management, Greek politicians used the easy money and subsidies that came with European Union membership not to make themselves more competitive in a flat world, but more corrupt, less willing to collect taxes and uncompetitive. Under Greek law, anyone in certain “hazardous” jobs could retire with full pension at 50 for women and 55 for men — including hairdressers who use a lot of chemical dyes and shampoos. In Britain, everyone over 60 gets an annual allowance to pay heating bills and can ride any local bus for free. That’s really sweet — if you can afford it. But Britain, where 25 percent of the government’s budget is now borrowed, can’t anymore.

Britain and Greece are today’s poster children for the wrenching new post-Tooth Fairy politics, where baby boomers will have to accept deep cuts to their benefits and pensions today so their kids can have jobs and not be saddled with debts tomorrow. Otherwise, we’re headed for intergenerational conflict throughout the West.

David Willetts, a British Conservative candidate and the author of a new book, “The Pinch: How the baby boomers took their children’s future — and how they can give it back,” told me that the Tories’ most effective campaign ad was a poster showing a newborn baby under the headline: “Dad’s eyes, Mum’s nose, Gordon Brown’s debt.” Beneath was the caption: “Labour’s debt crisis: Every child in Britain is born owing £17,000. They deserve better.”

What is most striking about the British election, said John Micklethwait, editor in chief of The Economist, was that it may be the first Western election “based on pain.” All the leading candidates warned voters that “cuts are coming,” but none were even close to honest about how deep.

Here is how The Financial Times described it on April 26: “The next government will have to cut public sector pay, freeze benefits, slash jobs, abolish a range of welfare entitlements and take the ax to programs such as school building and road maintenance.” Too bad no party won a majority mandate in the British elections to do this job.

After 65 years in which politics in the West was, mostly, about giving things away to voters, it’s now going to be, mostly, about taking things away. Goodbye Tooth Fairy politics, hello Root Canal politics.

It’s no fun. Just ask Greek parliamentarians, who, in the wake of announcing radical austerity measures, found their Parliament besieged by rioting anti-austerity protestors reportedly chanting, “Burn it down! That brothel Parliament!”

My takeaway is that U.S. and European politicians — please don’t laugh — are going to have to get a lot smarter and more honest.

To be the Regeneration, they’ll have to figure out how to raise some taxes to increase revenues, while cutting other taxes to stimulate growth; they’ll have to cut some services to save money, while investing in new infrastructure to grow economic capacity. We have got to use every dollar wisely now. Because we’ve eaten through our reserves, because the lords of discipline, the Electronic Herd of bond traders, are back with a vengeance — and because that Tooth Fairy, she be dead.

- Thomas Friedman

Patio Friends

Barrie had one of the easiest winters in memory. Of course that is a bit like saying John Holmes was gentle in bed. Feel free to Google John Holmes if you were born after 1980.

Let me put it another way. The last time you laid by a pool and had to dive in because you were too hot was sometime in late August. That was almost 8 months ago! Use your fingers and count it out by all means.

Of course we are still months away from that actual moment. Sure we silly Canadians hold out hope for May 2-4 weekend to be our savior but the last half dozen or so have been miserable dreck.

It barely seems possible to think our Vitamin D deprived bodies could tolerate such a sabbatical from the true warmth of an actual sun. The one week at an all-inclusive is fine but not the soul sustaining nourishment we sun worshipers need.

What is the answer for us to maintain a semblance of a society that doesn’t fall into cannibalism simply for entertainment?

Patios.

Yes patios are the lifeblood of Barrie.

Great friends. Cold beer. Lakeview. Need I say more?

That brings me to SKYBANK. The boys and I start dreaming about re-opening the patio sometime in January and bring it up like Jewish Mothers mentioning their sons becoming Doctors.

The word SKYBANK alone puts a smile on all of our faces even when the winter winds are pounding and the sun rises about at high as Hugh Hefner sans Viagra.

We were fortunate enough to win Barrie’s Best Patio and Nightclub in a local rags poll. This is probably because most patios are pressure treated nightmare boxes and the other Nightclub is owned by a man in his 90’s I believe. Either way we’ll accept the accolade with pride.

You know the first time I talked with Sparty (Jim Garland) about buying the old TD Bank for our new club, a crazed mesmerized look came over his face. *see Homer Simpson and doughnuts. And he said “Imagine a roof top patio!”

I’m not a religious man but I do believe that was a religious experience. It’s one of those moments when your eyes widen as if making them bigger will help cram as much of this wonderful idea in your head as possible.

From that moment on we planned everything at The Bank with that goal in mind. No matter what it cost. No matter the obstacles. We were going to build the best goddamned patio we bloody well could.

Some people have made an interesting issue that we have six partners in The Bank. They say things like “Did you know there are like 20 partners?” I always found this vexing and quite missing the point. We are all the best of friends and I must tell you it is wonderful experience to share something as fulfilling as this has been with them.

I picture other bar owners as these Dickensian characters who slave over the young talented people running their business as they rub their hands menacingly together. “Here is one piece of coal for you but the rest is Mine! Mine! Mine! Now bring me all the young ones so I can feed.”

Ok I’m sure that isn’t true. Nobody uses coal anymore.

Recently my little brother Beacher (Joe Bubel) quit his job in Manhattan. So we did the natural thing and brought him into The Bank as a partner. It means we now have another great friend to enjoy that one little word….SKYBANK.

Again patios are about great friends. Cold Beer. Lakeviews.

It’s like that Robert Frost poem. Two roads diverged in a Yellow Wood so we took the one less travelled by and brought our friends. And that has made all the difference.

Thank you so much for joining us on our journey.

Bring on the sun and the patio people!